18:26

No one present at the Sprint Review? Abandon this unimportant product (project, organization, company) and move on with your life.

15:47

A #Scrum Muster training? LOL, yes this is exactly what some teams really need.

15:47

I see just two phases in software development: pre- and post-release. The rest is just bollocks.

15:35

Jakie to jest kodowanie? WTF-16... Aha :) LOL

10:05

Co jest potrzebne do #Scruma? Właściwie wystarcza ogólne dociumanie... LOL

11:30

Fixed-scope, fixed-price, fixed-date, screwed-quality.

08:55

I almost heard: "No, no, no, we can not do that. We can not be so much more effective." LOL

21:53

After a day like today I can't tell if I'm a troubleshooter or a troublemaker. Feels good either way.

23:05

Somehow helping others to become more organized renders me horribly unorganized. Way behind my email. Again. #fail

08:13

W tym Sprincie jestem tylko na 75%. Eee... czyli nie będziesz słuchał co czwartego wyrazu z tego co mówimy?

11:21

Dobrze, że wydłużają wiek emerytalny - może będzie w końcu kiedy zrobić refaktoring, dokończyć testy i dokumentację.

10:33

Zaklinanie rzeczywistości w czystej formie "To jest gotowe, to jest kwestia zrobienia ... tylko". Tylko? Gotowe? Czyżby?

10:04

#Scrum jest dziwny. Wbrew naszym przyzwyczajeniom PO nie oznacza "pełniącego obowiązki".

21:02

As a lazy developer I want to dictate #gherkin scenario, so that I can boost #BDD scenarios creation. Is there a solution for this yet?

14:51

Aaa... to... to akurat jest przypadek cholernie graniczny :)

15:35

Boszzz.... to jest "strona gówna". OMG, OMG! :)

19:47

–Czy na to jest jakieś SLA? –Już dawno przekroczone. –Aaa… to spoko.

12:28

Kot wchodzi na produkcję!!!

12:28

Dear #Scrum Master, it is not about you, its all about the team. Shut the f*ck up.

20:44

#Scrum Master Responsibilities: Follow standard dev life-cycle processes. Poor guy is screwed unless the team defines what the standard is.

21:34

Slajdy otwierające moje poniedziałkowe wystąpienie na grupie PMI w Krakowie. @Scrum: Nowy porządek. [t.co]

18:27

I thought my mind is going to explode trying to grasp organizational ineffectiveness but doc says it's a flu. Phew!

07:34

"So what? I do crappy software and I don't care 'cause I'm getting paid anyway". Shotgun or piano string? Him or his boss?

23:18

#Scrum Master should not take anything for granted. Stay curious, ask open questions to learn yourself and help the team to learn.

22:06

Mediocre teams require leadership not assistance. #Scrum Masters should actively ask questions to foster self-organization and advancement.

13:31

Testing ain't clicking.

21:33

#Scrum without solid DoD will speed up your production even more. Crap production it is, large scale. Hypercrap.

21:33

It's awesome how selective the hearing becomes when ppl face new patterns of conduct. Simplest messages get abused just to match old order.

19:10

BTW, call it a guild, a tribe, a community, an excellence center or "koło gospodyń wiejskich" if you don't like #Scrum of Scrums term.

19:10

Isn't it obvious that Scrum of Scrums uses #Scrum, therefore it requires timeboxes, a PO and a SM? Regardless it's QA, UX, SM or PO s-o-s...

18:54

For this project call Harry Potter, not me. I do #Scrum, not magic. For its efficiency it might be mistaken with one, but it's not.

20:33

Przejrzystość nie oznacza pełnej otwartości. Czasem wymagane jest jasne (przejrzyste) ale jednak postawienie granic. #scrum

18:14

Next time this happens I will ask the team to estimate in "lazy man-days".

05:39

Reminder: If you hold some knowledge to yourself and manage/direct people based on that knowledge it is you and you only who's responsible.

20:08

Too much guidance closes minds, kills thinking. Too little does not open them either. Damn dilemma.

07:30

RT @aworkinglibrary: Suddenly realized the problem with all to-do lists: they are filled with things we don't *want* to do. Everything e ...

07:21

No już, proszę rozpędzać tę mgłę w Poznaniu. #stuckinairport

07:21

Rany bossskie... jest 6 rano, a facet obok napiernicza o polityce i politykach. Jego kolega kiwa głową, ale chyba śpi. #stuckinairport

06:35

@zajonchek Szukam doświadczonych SM-ów do projektu w domenie public rozpiętego pomiędzy W-wą a Wrocławiem.

12:29

Doświadczeni Scrum Masterzy potrzebni. Kto się nie boi?

18:31

Hehehe, estymujecie stojąc/siedząc prosto czy się pochylacie? [t.co]

08:33

LOL, Google had a pressure for date and scope: [t.co](s). Cryptic error message is not what I want to see starting an app. #fail

15:37

Jak żyć panie trenerze, jak żyć? LOL :)

07:45

Studies show 60% of managers know better and ignore their people's opinions. At the same time they *command* people to be creative. LOL

13:44

Trust in a #Scrum team: "Not sure. Surprise me!"

00:07

A #Scrum team totally mirrors Product Owners's energy. Will fly if you live and breathe your product. Will struggle if you don't.

22:17

It is so rewarding to see people step up and take on responsibility. Even more rewarding to hear they can fly now. Totally awesome #scrum

18:43

Had discussion on what happens to #Scrum when politics kicks in. No one cares, "grab some money and run for life!" culture is back! #fail

18:03

@andybrandt @ronjeffries @agilemanager I say (on top of that) very few companies know what the business goal they try to reach really is.

18:03

@andybrandt @ronjeffries @agilemanager Instead cost-estimate a project, try (maybe) what $ can be blind invested to reach the business goal

18:03

@andybrandt Sure. Reliable as usual.